Let’s Roll a Gachapon!
A full night’s rest was more than enough to allow Illuna to fully recover from the verge of death. In fact, she was so healthy that I almost couldn’t believe my eyes. At first, she’d almost looked like the child of some random hobo. She wore rags and was covered in so much blood, dirt, and filth that I didn’t realize that she was actually quite the looker. I now knew that the child had shiny blonde hair, big, brown round eyes, and a face pretty enough to put celebrities to shame. The height she stood at only added to her charm. She was just tall enough for me to feel the urge to pat her on the head whenever I saw her. Give her a few years, and I’m pretty sure every guy that sees her is gonna end up all over her.
Lefi had told me that vampires and succubi were beautiful, but Illuna seemed more than just that. There was no way that she wasn’t well above average even taking her race into consideration. I’m pretty sure the kidnappers that raided her village thought the same, seeing as how they killed literally everyone else.
Naturally, I’d replaced her rags with actual clothes. She was wearing a one piece dress that looked near identical to Lefi’s, with the biggest difference being that it was a good bit smaller. Their hair colours were different, and Lefi had both horns and a tail, but I couldn’t help but think that the two looked like a pair of sisters, especially when they stood next to each other. The biggest factor that played into it was that they were both undeniably beautiful.
“Woah! What’s that!?” The vampire ran around the dungeon, curiously examining and asking about everything she saw.
“What? Oh, that?” That’s the pop up pirate game.”
“The pop up pirate game? What’s that?”
“It’d be easier for you just to try it. You see those toy swords lying around where you found it?”
“Try sticking them through one of the holes in the barrel.”
Illuna followed my instructions and impaled poor Blackbeard with several plastic blades. Nothing happened at first, but she kept trying until the toy finally reacted. The plastic contraption made a bit of a clacking sound as the pirate was ejected from his barrel.
“Woah!” Illuna grabbed Blackbeard and ran over to me. She held her prize up and spoke with a big smile, to which I responded in kind. “Did you see that, Yuki? The guy in the barrel went flying!”
Dungeon life wasn’t exactly what I could call thrilling. Not much happened, and I didn’t really need to do any real work. My passive income was more than enough for the dungeon’s residents to live off of. I needed something to stave off both Lefi’s boredom and my own, so I’d bought a bunch of random, cheap stuff to keep us entertained.
That said, the dragon girl refused to play the pop up pirate game. Our good friend Mr. Blackbeard had smacked her dead in the face the first time she got him to pop, so she’d avoided both him and his game ever since.
After a few moments of watching over the young vampire with a smile, I sat myself down atop the throne and relaxed. By now, I was so used to the fancy chair that I no longer found it awkward to sit in. In fact, it was extremely comfortable. I popped open the menu and quickly checked over a few key stats.
Hmm.. it looks like I’m actually earning quite a bit now. I kind of want to keep growing the dungeon’s territory, but at this point, I don’t really need all that extra passive income. It’s not like I’m going to need it unless I decide to save up for something super expensive. Which means… I can finally “have a little fun.”
I’d always been interested in RNGesus’ bounty, but I’d refrained out of the concern that I was just going to be wasting DP. but I mean, it’s not like it’s really a waste. Honestly, all I’m doing is checking out my options. The gacha doesn’t say what it has, so giving it a few spins and finding out is clearly the most obvious and natural thing to do. I’m totally not actually giving in to temptation. Nope.
After a bit of self justification, I tapped the gachapon tab and reviewed my options. The menu layout was simple. There were only four buttons. Each had a numeric value on it, designating its price. Let’s see… 100, 1k, 10k, 100k. The more expensive ones probably have better rates and prizes, but the 10k and 100k ones are a bit too rich for my blood. The one that costs 100 has probably only got junk in it, grand prize aside, so I guess I’ll stick with the 1k gacha for now.
With that decided and out of the way, I tapped the button. Particles of glowing white light began gathering in front of me and gradually taking form, much as it had when I summoned Shii.
“Is that… a pistol?” Huh. Neat.” The thing that formed in my hand was basically a scaled up derringer with a cylinder. Though I called it a pistol at first, I soon realized that it was more of an oddly shaped revolver. Pistols didn’t have cylinders, after all.
Fancy engravings ran along both the gun’s barrel and its grip. Whoever engraved this thing has got some pretty good taste.
After looking it over, I analyzed the weapon in order to see what it could do.
Magical Handgun: A ranged weapon that uses magical energy as ammunition. Its magazine can hold up to seven bullets.
“Wow. Not bad at all.” Admittedly, I found the weapon awesome. It was the type of gun that would’ve made me throw my wallet at the screen and mash the whale button if I saw it in a game with microtransactions. There was no doubting it. I’d won a pretty damn good prize. I was certain that it was one of the gacha’s rare drops.
I wanted to test it right away, but I stopped myself short and instead continued to roll. There’s no point in testing it right now. I’m going to get more cool shit if I keep rolling, so I might as well wait and mess around with all of it at once later. Plus, it looks like I’m a good luck streak, so I should probably keep rolling before it goes away.
Oh god, why? Why didn’t I just stop after the stupid gun?
A few minutes later, I found myself lamenting my choices. I’d rolled the gacha a tonne, and found myself staring down a pile of trash. My rolls had produced the following
Pan Lid x 3
Dish Scrubber x 2
Soap Bar x 2
Wooden Cup x 1
Some Sort of Cloth x 1
Bottle of Salt x 2
Wooden Spoon x 1
Spool of Hemp x 1
Stuffed Animal x 1
Tupperware Container x 1
Finger Puppet x 1
Plastic Bag x 1
Keyholder x 1
Pencil x 1
Some Sort of Cord x 1
Each and every single member of the veritable heap of garbage sitting in front of the throne was worth less than 100 DP.
I can’t believe I just fell for Gambler’s Fallacy. Hook, Line, and Sinker at that… God damn it. I kept telling myself that my bad luck streak was going to end, and that I was going to hit the jackpot sooner or later. Evidently, I was wrong. Ugh… I forgot that my luck is even worse than Shii’s. And Shii is a god damn slime. A slime! The weakest monster there is!
I swear, this stupid thing’s rigged to hell and back. It must’ve only spat out that gun because it was my first roll and it wanted to bait me into rolling more. Shit. Stupid “random” number generator led me by the nose. And like, why’s the most common thing gotta be a fucking pan lid!? What the hell am I going to do with 3 god damned lids!? It didn’t even get any pans! Like, come on! Why couldn’t the most common item at least be some sort of consumable I could actually get some value out of? Why’s it gotta be something this god damn useless?
I sighed as I lifelessly leaned back into the throne. Just seeing the trash pile made me feel dumb and unmotivated. The action caught Illuna’s attention and prompted her to ask me a question.
“What’s that weird blue thing?” She pointed straight towards the screen I’d been manipulating just a few moments prior.
“Oh, this? This is the dungeon’s menu. I use it to c—wait.” I cut myself off. “You can see this?”
My response had been reflexive, so I hadn’t thought much about her question until after I’d started responding.
“Yup! It’s weird, glowing, and kinda transparent!” The vampire said with a smile.
Wait, what the hell? Wasn’t I supposed to be the only person that could actually see the menu? Not even Lefi could last time I checked, so why can Illuna?
“I wanna try doing what you’re doing. It looks really fun!”
“Uhhhh… Sure. But just once, okay?” Can’t have her falling for Gambler’s Fallacy. Not that I have the DP for it.
“Yay! Thanks Yuki!” The vampire skipped over to the throne, climbed up my knees, and sat herself down in my lap. “Uhmm… So how do I make stuff come out?”
“You see this button?”
“The second one from the top?”
“Yeah. Poke it with your finger.”
“Okay!” Illuna happily tapped the floating screen.
Light flooded the throne room. There were far more glowing particles than there’d been on any other occasion. In fact, there was enough to dye the entire throne room in blinding light.
“Holy crap.” My eyes felt like they were about to bulge out of their sockets.
“Wow, it’s so pretty!”
So many of the light particles had gathered that they didn’t even immediately take a solid shape. I could make out that whatever the gacha was spitting out had four legs and a tail, but that was it.
Once the light finally vanished, it left behind a living thing, a creature whose massive frame towered a full head above my own. It was covered from head to toe in a layer of white fur that shone with all the lustre of a fresh coat of snow. Jagged claws extended from all four of its feet, each sharp enough to slice even a boulder in two. Its gaze, which was focused on us, was one that seemed to convey intelligence. I could tell that the creature, the wolf, could think. That it was no mere beast. My overall impression was that the canine gave off an aura of dignity and grace.
The only word to describe Illuna’s pull was one that embodied luck itself: jackpot. I was so shocked to see the prize that my jaw dropped and froze in place.
Class: Lord of Wolves
Extreme Speed 
Claw Combat Arts II
Ice Magic IV
Lightning Magic IV
Crisis Detection IV
Kin to the Demon Lord
Uhh… is it just me, or is that thing a fenrir? Like, you know, the God-Eating wolf from Norse Mythology? The only conclusion I could draw was that, in this world, fenrir wasn’t just a myth.
Wait, what the heck? This thing’s stats are super high. Holy crap. It’d probably outclass me if we were the same level. In fact, it’s already more agile than me. It’s got all sorts of skills, and its class is ridiculous too. Like holy hell. It’s already Lord of the Wolves even though it was literally just born?
“Wow! It’s a really big wolf!” Illuna squealed, got off my knees, and ran towards the wolf.
“Wait! Hold up!” I immediately ran after the little girl and attempted to stop her. Ohhh crap. It’s totally going to eat her.
Fortunately, I was wrong. The giant wolf seemed to recognize us as its masters. It didn’t mind Illuna attaching herself to its leg. In fact, it even leaned forward and lowered its gaze to demonstrate that it was tame.
“Wow, it’s so soft!”
“You sure are brave, Illuna. What would you’ve done if it attacked you?”
“It doesn’t smell like a bad wolf, so it’s okay!”
Uh…what? Is that just a vampire thing? It doesn’t look like she’s got any skills that tell her whether something is dangerous, but she seems really confident, so…
Shii, who wasn’t doing anything in particular, approached the fenrir. The slime stood in front of the wolf and bounced around, as if giving it a lecture. Though it wasn’t actually saying anything, I felt as if it was telling the newcomer that it would show him the ropes. The overall impression I got was that Shii was effectively acting no different from a kid puffing up its chest and bragging.
Despite being way stronger, the Fenrir didn’t mind that a mere slime was treating it like it was higher up the social ladder. In fact, it almost seemed like the wolf was intently listening to everything the slime had to say. If you could call it that.
Wow. That’s uh, one helluva mature attitude. Damn, Fenrir-bro. You a real man.
“What an outrageous creature to summon,” Lefi grumbled as she dragged herself over. She’d been asleep, indulging in laziness, but all the commotion had eventually forced her out of bed.
“Yeah, I figured. It sure does look decently strong, huh?”
“Your description is inadequate. It does not even begin to capture the creature’s potential. The fenrir you have summoned is young, a mere pup. It has not yet realised its full strength,” said Lefi, matter of factly. “It will be like me once it matures, a creature of which legends are sung. I have fought just one in the past, and it was so difficult to defeat that I wished not to ever encounter another.” 
“Holy shit.” It’s that strong? I can’t believe that even Lefi acknowledges it. Wait, did she just say this one’s still a puppy? Even though it’s already bigger than I am? I was a bit concerned about the wolf’s final size. Hopefully it’ll at least be small enough to comfortably fit inside the throne room.
“I must admit, I am quite impressed with both Shii and the girl. Neither is flinching in the face of such a creature. I would not be surprised to find both maturing into individuals of great influence and power.”
I know, right?
Editor’s note: Hey, guys! Joker here. Man, is Illuna a little luck charm, or what? Pulling a FENRIR for 1k DP. What a steal. Although, it is kind of weird that she can see the dungeon’s menu. Wonder what the deal is with that? Well, hopefully it’ll be explained soon. Not much to say today, so sorry if anyone was looking forward to that. See y’all in the next chapter!
 This whole thing is a low key Pokemon reference. Paraphrasing here, but Arcanine is a canine known as the “Legendary Pokemon.” Its signature move (before other Pokemon stole it) was Extreme Speed.