What Exactly Does Blood Taste Like Anyway?
Editor(s): Speedphoenix, Joker
“Thanks Yuki! That was really tasty!” Illuna gave me a big smile as she detached herself from my neck.
“No problem. Glad to hear it.” The sides of her mouth were still covered in a bit of the sanguine fluid, but I paid it no mind and gave the happy young bloodsucker a pat on the head regardless.
“…You know, that doesn’t really surprise me anymore, but it does remind me that I’m the only human here.” said Nell.
“Yeah, I can kinda see where you’re coming from. It’s basically impossible to tell that Illuna’s a vampire unless you see her fangs,” I said. “Though I guess the same can probably be said for me too.”
“Mhm. Your eyes and your hair are kind of a rare colour, but not one that’s unheard of. You look just like one of us so long as you don’t have your wings out.” The hero giggled before looking around. She furrowed her brows, as if deep in thought, as her gaze fell upon each member of my household in turn.
First, it fluttered to Leila, who was reading one of the books I’d brought back from the demon realm as a souvenir. It then jumped to Lefi, Lyuu, and Enne. The dragon and warwolf were facing off in a high-stakes game of Othello whilst the sword watched with interest. She’s probably just waiting for one of them to lose so she can take their spot.
“Now that I think about it, almost everyone seems to be a different race. The wraiths are the only ones that aren’t.”
“Huh… I’ve never thought about it, but yeah, you’re right. And the wraith girls are more or less a three in one package anyway, so you can’t even really say we have any dupes.”
I had summoned the triplets at the same time. But that wasn’t all. You know the concept of the trinity? Yeah, it’s kinda like that. They’re the same, but different.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many different types of people in one place before,” said Nell, with a giggle. “And I don’t think any others exist. Humans are far too xenophobic for that. Most of us can’t stand the other races.”
“Yeah, I’m sure all the other humans would be a lot happier if they were as silly and laid back as you are.”
“Silly!? What do you mean silly!?” The brunette puffed up her cheeks in an easy to read expression of indignance and anger.
“Nothing bad,” I chuckled, “It was a compliment.”
“Master.” I felt something tug on my shirt right as I opened my mouth to tease the poor hero again, so I stopped and looked down to see the dungeon’s resident slime girl. “Maaaaster.”
Her articulation had improved drastically since she first started learning to speak. It wasn’t quite perfect just yet, however, as her words ended up coming out with a distinctive, childish lisp. Furthering that distinction was the pace at which she spoke. Her sentences were short because she often had to pause to find the right words.
“Hey Shii, what’s up?”
“I wanna try drinking some of your blood too!”
“W-where’d this come from all of a sudden? I’m pretty sure it’s not the type of thing you’d actually enjoy.”
“Illuna told me it’s really tasty! I really really wanna try it!” The slime looked to the vampire, who energetically nodded her head in confirmation.
“Yup! it’s the tastiest thing I’ve ever drank! Even better than fizzy juice!”
When Illuna said “fizzy juice,” she actually meant soda. It was something I knew she loved. She jumped for joy every single time I decided to serve it. Wow, didn’t think she actually liked my blood more than soda. I mean, sure, that kinda makes me happy, but it also doesn’t. Because Iunno about you, but I don’t really think that the average Joe enjoys being weighed against a can of Coke.
“If it’s that tasty, then I really wanna try it!” said Shii.
“I mean, sure, if you insist,” I said. “Could you trade places with her, Illuna?”
The vampire and the slime pulled a good old switcheroo; one got off my lap, and the other got on.
“Thanks! Can I start drinking?”
“I mean, again, I don’t think it’ll taste good, but go for it.”
A cool, pleasant sensation assaulted my neck as Shii placed her mouth exactly where Illuna’s fangs had left their mark. Upon craning my head towards her, I was reminded that, unlike Illuna, her body wasn’t opaque. The translucency of her skin and flesh allowed me to observe as she swallowed and digested my vital fluids. The way the two liquids integrated was so strange that I couldn’t help but find it obscene. Thankfully, she had her fill and stopped before I took the thought any further.
“Wow! It really was tasty! That was like going to a Michelin three star restaurant!”
“You’ve never even been to a three star restaurant,” I retorted.
Man, why do they know all these weird bits of trivia? Who the hell taught them all this useless bullshit? Oh... Right… It was me.
“Is it really that good? You sure you’re not just saying that to make me feel better?”
“Yup! It’s really good! I think soda is good too. But this is better!”
“Right?” Hearing the slime reinforce her opinion led the vampire to puff out her chest with a newly validated sense of pride.
As long as they’re happy, I guess.
“H-Hey, Yuki…?” asked Nell.
“W-would you mind if I tried some too?”
“What the hell? Seriously? You too?”
I raised a questioning brow at the hero. The way she was fidgeting made it clear that she was well aware she was asking for something bizarre, but she had allowed Shii to influence her into doing it regardless.
“It has to be pretty tasty if both of them like it that much, right?” she asked. “Can you really fault me for being just a little bit curious?”
“It’s blood. It’s literally blood. It’s going to taste like blood.”
“But what if it doesn’t? You are a demon lord, after all, right?”
I don’t see how that has anything to do with anything.
“T-That’s why I uhm… just kinda want to try it. You know, for science.”
“Science? Really…?” I heaved an exasperated sigh. “You know what? Fine.”
My reaction prompted Shii to turn towards the human and grin. “I guess that means it’s your turn next, Nell! Here, have my seat!”
The slime and the human pulled a good old switcheroo; one got off my lap, and the other got on. Nell’s silky smooth hair brushed against my face. She had gone straight for the prize immediately after stabilizing herself, a task that had involved nothing more than wrapping her arms around my neck and leaning into me. Unlike Shii or Illuna, her figure was developed.
It was so soft and warm that it appealed to my instincts.
The shivers running down my spine didn’t help; my body reacted each time her tongue traced its way down the side of my neck.
Pleasure wracked my brain as a sense of immorality overcame me.
I could feel the urge to have my way with her bubbling up from within.
Nell and I weren’t in that sort of relationship yet.
The ultimate goal of having her stay with us was to foster a romantic relationship to begin with. Which meant there was nothing wrong with doing her. No, stop it, Yuki, you idiot. Calm down man, what the fuck are you thinking? The kids are watching. Stop this before you corrupt them, you dumb horndog!
Though I had yet to fully convince myself to calm down, I decided to speak to Nell and try to get her to back away before I totally lost it.
“H-hey, Nell? Shouldn’t you already have enough data for that science experiment of yours?”
“Yeah, but being like this is just so comforting. It’s like I’m being embraced by your scent.”
Nell, please! You’re really not helping! Are you actually trying to seduce me? For fuck’s sake! I’m pretty sure you’d be singing a whole different tune if you knew what I was thinking right now! Shit!
“Nell, you do know I would’ve probably tried to have my way with you already if I wasn’t such a perfect gentleman, right?” I intentionally voiced my concerns in the form of a joke in hopes of her catching on.
But she failed to give me the reply I wanted.
“It’s okay. I wouldn’t mind if it’s you.” She whispered the words in a sweet, sultry tone, one that only made my urges worse.
She wanted me.
Just as much as I wanted her.
Can I really lose control? Can I really listen to the devil on my shoulder and give in to my urges?
Nell raised her head from my neck and pulled back just far enough to stare into my eyes. Her face was red, and her breathing erratic. Slowly but surely, she closed her eyes and began to inch closer. Her pretty pink lips approached. The gap between mine and hers shrank.
I felt like I was being drawn in. Before long, I too began slowly bringing my face forward.
“Ahem.” The sound of someone clearing their throat brought both of us back down to earth. Upon turning around, we saw Lefi. Or more specifically, an unhappy Lefi.
“I will not tell you not to engage in any such activities.” Like Lyuu and Enne, who were standing behind her, the dragon was glaring at us with her arms crossed. “It was I who arranged for the two of you to enter in a relationship, and I see no reason for you not to indulge in such an activity should you choose to become mates. It is one I would expect, even. For that is simply a natural part of romantic involvement.”
Neither of us could offer much in the way of a response. We simply remained silent as we reflected on our shameful behaviour.
“But conducting yourselves in such a manner in broad daylight is another discussion to be had altogether. What do the two of you think of it? Was there any reason not to have chosen a better place or time?”
“We’re sorry,” we said in tandem.
“Good. Then I will be expecting the two of you to be more selective in the future,” she said as she returned to her board game, minions in tow.
“How exactly did my blood end up tasting, anyway?”
“Uhm… S-sorry, but I’m not really sure. My head started to get really fuzzy when I started smelling yo—I mean it wasn’t anything special! You were right. It was blood, and it tasted like blood.”
“…I guess you really are one of us now.”
“Huh? What’s that supposed to mean?” Nell tilted her head in confusion.
“Nothing,” I said as I brushed off the blushing hero’s question with a laugh.
Oh, you know. Nothing too special. Just that you’re a bit messed up in the head.