A Night for Two
Editor(s): Speedphoenix, Joker
My eyes snapped open. It was late at night, but for some odd reason, I was wide awake. It was a bit of a rare occurrence. Normally, I would only ever randomly wake up because I happened to feel thirsty, and I’d groggily get up, find myself a glass of water, and get back to bed. But tonight was different.
For one reason or another, my mind was perfectly clear, and I felt perfectly rested. I highly doubted that I was going to be able to get back to sleep no matter how hard I tried. In the end, I chalked it up to the way I’d spent the day lazing around and doing absolutely nothing; my degenerate lifestyle had left me with an excess of energy. Hmmm… what now?
There weren’t all that many options available. Everyone else was still asleep, and morning was still a long ways off. There was no way I was going to be able to patiently sit around and wait until the sun rose. You know what? Fuck it. I might as well go out and grab myself a breath of fresh air. This is pretty much the perfect opportunity for a nice, midnight stroll.
I immediately followed up the random thought by tiptoeing out of bed, as to not wake anyone, and carefully sliding through the door.
“This place has gotten pretty huge, hasn’t it?” I muttered to myself as I looked down upon everything I’d built from the castle’s top floor. I was situated on a veranda, one with just the right angle to allow me to overlook my fortress.
Its current size stemmed from a habit of mine. I had added random buildings and structures just about every time I’d gotten the urge; the castle’s scale had been totally blown out of proportion by a countless number of whim-driven expansion efforts. And all of it was laid out with utmost intricacy. The top floor, the floor on which the true throne room was situated, was the only one that really needed to be fleshed out as far as living spaces went and even that bordered on the brink of excess. The private rooms that each member of my household had been assigned were, frankly, relegated to functioning as nothing beyond personal storage.
I’d made the castle’s layout so complex and impossible to navigate that one could easily get lost and end up wandering around forever. The only reason our residents didn’t was because they could use the dungeon’s magical doors to teleport wherever they wished.
A convoluted layout was normally something that would likely lead to the castle being labeled as an architectural failure. But it wasn’t. Because though it’d seen no use, it was technically still my last line of defense. Man… we’ve been getting so few invaders that that’s totally slipped my mind. Hell, the last one was Nell, and that was like a year ago… I mean, staying intruder-free is a good thing, of course, but I kinda wish something would happen. Can you really blame me for wanting to get some mileage out of this thing? I put way too much effort into it for it to do nothing but sit here and look pretty.
Nowadays, the castle mainly served as a playground. There was no way for me to set up any traps, let alone killboxes, without endangering the kids, so I’d ended up refraining for the time being. Not exactly satisfied with how it’s all turned out, but if they’re happy, then I guess I’ll just have to settle… Haaah… Goddammit.
I spent a few moments trying to convince myself that all was fine, but was pulled from self reflection by an approaching set of footsteps. Turning around, I found myself greeted by a beautiful head of silver hair, glimmering beneath the light of the moon.
“Lefi? Why are you up?”
Is she stuck awake too?
The answer to my second, internal question came in the form of a big yawn.
“I happened to catch sight of your departure,” she said. “I chose to follow, as I was concerned that we may have been under attack, but I see now that my concerns were needless.”
Oh. Right. Yeah, makes sense. There isn’t any real reason for me to get up in the middle of the night if we aren’t getting invaded or something, after all.
“My bad, I didn’t mean to wake you up,” I said. “I’m not sure why, but it felt like I probably wasn’t going to be able to get back to sleep, so I figured I might as well get some fresh air.”
Lefi crossed her arms, sighed, and shook her head from side to side as if to silently comment that I was a lot more trouble than I was worth.
“That is due to the unhealthy lifestyle you lead. This is a wakeup call, Yuki, a chance for you to reflect upon your mistakes.”
“Says the only person with worse sleeping habits than me.”
“My habits are not unhealthy,” she huffed. “I am merely functioning as would any regular dragon.”
Uh huh, I’m sure you are.
She walked up beside me, leaned on the railing, and looked off into the sunset as I watched her with a bit of a wry smile.
“This castle has grown quite vast.”
“Totally badass, right?”
My initial plan had been to mimic Anor Londo, but it’d grown way out of control since then. Yeahhhh, I kinda went way overboard. Sometimes, I look back and think I might’ve messed up. Just a bit. Maybe. Sometimes. Shh.
“Indeed. It has truly become worthy of the name Luraghn Fjornr Fortress.”
“Luraghn Fjornr Fortress,” she repeated. “It is the name that I gave it following our consultation.”
Oh… right. I did let her name it, didn’t I? I totally forgot.
“…I do not suppose you have forgotten, have you?”
“N-not at all,” I stuttered. “There’s no way I could’ve possibly forgotten the totally badass name that the girl I absolutely adore came up with.”
“We, your wives, are all well aware that you rarely attempt to butter us up outside of moments during which you are attempting to pull the wool over our eyes.”
Oh shit, she knows. Hell, she sees right through me.
“Is it just me, or have you girls been getting a really good grasp of my personality lately?”
Lyuu caught me red handed when I was trying to mess with her during the barbecue too… Man, I miss the good old days. They both used to be so gullible…
“We are not your wives just for show,” she huffed. “Anything we learn about you is promptly shared amongst the others through the means of a conference.”
Oh, she must be talking about that wives’ conference bullshit. Right. They drive me out of the room every single time they hold one. How could I forget?
“So just for reference, what exactly did you talk about during the latest conference?”
“We spoke at length regarding your fetishes,” she said, matter-of-factly. “We know full well that you are far more interested in our thighs than the average man, that you often cannot tear your eyes from the napes of our necks, and that you often glance at our hips.”
“Uhhh… you know what, I think I’ve heard enough. You can stop.”
“You wish for me to stop? Did you not desire knowledge of whatever it was we discussed?”
“I mean, yeah, but I’ve changed my mind.”
Yeah uhhhh, they know a lot more than I thought they did. Hell, a good part of that is probably entirely subconscious since I wasn’t even aware I was actually doing it… I’m not exactly all that comfortable knowing that they’re actively talking about this stuff. And you’d probably feel the same way, if you were in my situation. Goddammit, I really shouldn’t have asked. This is a classic case of curiosity killing the cat. Fuck.
“There is no need to make such a face,” she chuckled. “It should please you to know that we spend our days carefully observing you and doing our utmost to better understand you.”
“It does make me happy, if you put it that way, but you know what would make me even happier? Not having people talk about my personal preferences.”
“Impossible. We have already decided to collaborate in all matters involving you.” She grinned at me. “However, I do not mind reconsidering should you accommodate one of my requests.”
“Alright, let’s hear it. What do you want?”
Oh boy, here comes Lefi demanding sweets again.
“You have already spent time alone with Nell at a beach, and Lyuu in the forest. I would like for the two of us to go on a date as well.”
Or not. That was literally the last thing I expected her to say. My eyes opened wide, but I soon managed to regain my composure.
“As you wish, my lady,” I said, while flashing a calm smile. “Honestly, I was expecting you to ask for a cake or something.”
“I would not particularly mind a sweet treat,” she said. “But it would be nice for us to conduct ourselves in a manner appropriate for a pair of mates.”
She leaned on my shoulder and looked up at me with a bold smile.
“Point taken.” I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer. “In that case, what do you say we sleep together more often? That’s something couples do too, isn’t it? Iunno about you, but I think it’d make for a nice change of pace.”
“I would rather not. The three of us did not fit well in a single bed.”
“Honestly, I kinda liked how cramped it was.”
She answered with an exaggerated sigh, after which we looked at each other and laughed.
That was how the rest of our night went. Side by side. Out on the veranda. All by ourselves.