An Awkward Morning
Editor(s): Speedphoenix, Joker
“It’s morning, sleepyheads! I know you’re really happy and snuggly, but it’s time to get up!” shouted Illuna.
“Get up!” echoed Shii.
“Breakfast. Ready,” said Enne.
All three of the excited, loud voices were funneled straight into my ears.
“Ugh… I know, I know already…” I groaned. “I’m getting up. You don’t have to keep shouting.”
“And I shall do the same… I need only a moment to rise.”
Both Lefi and I groaned as we slowly sat up in the bed we shared, no doubt in part due to the extra weights pressing down on our chests. Slowly, we turned to face each other, and once she finished rubbing her eyes, we exchanged an awkward silent stare. I smiled sheepishly, while she averted her gaze and began fiddling with her hair.
“It took us a really really reallllllly long time to find you guys. We checked the beds you normally used, but they were totally empty!” It didn’t take Illuna long to catch onto the off-beat mood. “What are you guys doing? Is it a game? Oh, I know, you must be playing pretend! Wow, you’re both really good at acting like newlyweds! It’s almost like you’re on a honeymoon!”
Too sharp. I cleared my throat and immediately turned the conversation around. “Riiiight, you said something about breakfast? We’ll be over in a sec. Actually, on second thought, I think we’re probably going to need to wash up first. Tell the others to get started without us.”
“Okay! Just make sure you take a morning nap right after, okay?”
“Morning naps are nice!” Shii said. “I wanna take one.”
“Mhm. But baths are better,” said Enne.
“I like naps more,” said Shii.
“Oh, oh, I know exactly what this is and how to deal with it! It’s one of those problems where people have different opinions. If we don’t wanna argue, then we’ve gotta agree to disagree! If that’s okay, then say it with me. Agree to disagree!”
Both of the other girls did as instructed as the group left the room and moved towards the castle, making all sorts of noise along the way.
After confirming that they were gone, Lefi and I once again looked at each other.
“We’re going to have to wash up,” I said. “The room doesn’t really smell, since I left the door open, but we probably do.”
“I-indeed,” she nodded. “The others are sure to comment if we return as we are now.”
“Yeah… Lyuu’ll probably figure it out the moment we step into the room. Her nose is sharp.”
The corners of my lips rose into a teasing grin. “What do you say we get in together? I’ll make sure I get every last nook and cranny, if you know what I mean.”
“Enough.” She shoved me playfully as her cheeks burned.
And so, together, we moved towards the bath to remove any evidence of our actions. It just so happened that we stuck a little bit closer than usual along the way.
“Master, you’re smellin’ a lot like Lefi.” Lyuu narrowed her eyes the moment we stepped into the room. It took me quite the amount of effort to ensure that my jaw didn’t shoot straight into the floor.
“I-isn’t that normal? I’m pretty sure we cuddle enough for her scent to rub off on me.”
“It is, but it ain’t quite right today. You’re smellin’ even more like her than usual, and she’s got your scent all over her too. What the heck were you two doin’ while the rest of us were sleepin’!?” She pointed at me as would a prosecutor, as if to state that she saw right through me.
W-what the fuck!? How does she know!? We literally just washed ourselves off in order to stop this from happening!
The accusation led the dungeon’s sole human to walk over and take a few whiffs.
“She’s right… You really do have her scent all over you.” Nell said. “The two of you even went out of your way to sleep somewhere else last night…” She narrowed her eyes “How… suspicious.”
How!? Aren’t you supposed to be human!? I get Lyuu having a sharp nose, but you having one just makes no fucking sense! I hyperventilated, only figuratively, of course. Back in Japan, people always say that girls are really good at sniffing out any instances of their boyfriends or husbands sleeping with other girls and whatnot, but I’m pretty fucking sure that isn’t supposed to be literal.
I took a brief moment to reflect on the superpowers possessed by women. Yup, definitely not to be reckoned with. This is why cheating never works, not that I ever would. My wives > literally everyone else.
Alright, Yuki, that’s enough thinking of random dumb shit. Focus. Get them off your track.
“Nothing happened. We cuddled a bit more than usual, and kinda just fell asleep. Nothing special happened.” It took a bit of effort, but I was able to stop my mind from wandering off in favour of delivering a somewhat believable excuse. “Anyway, Nell, shouldn’t you be getting ready to leave? I mean, I don’t mind you sticking around more, but I’m pretty sure you have to get back by tonight, right?”
“O-oh crap! I really do need to leave soon…” Her eyes widened as she dashed over to one of the true throne room’s corners. “I need to get all my stuff packed up again!” She changed out of her pajamas and started shoving everything she owned back into her interdimensional fanny bag.
“And Lyuu, aren’t you supposed to be helping Leila with the morning chores? Not exactly sure she’d be happy if you made her do all the dishes and whatnot.”
“Oops… I guess you’re right…”
She did head back over to the kitchen, but not without turning around several times, each to give us a suspicious glance.
With both girls out of the picture, only Lefi and I remained.
And for a while, we did nothing. We simply stood there, awkwardly, as we each processed our own thoughts on the situation presented.
“…There has been a matter on my mind, Yuki.” Eventually, she broke the silence.
“As your wife, I feel that failing to ask this of you sooner is no different from failing to perform my duties, but I shall face my lack of responsibility without further lament.” A bit of her confidence appeared to wane with every word. “I-is it not necessary for men to… periodically seek release? Have you been holding it in, all this time?”
The manner in which she had delivered the awkward question was both embarrassed and apologetic.
“Well uh… you aren’t wrong.” I tried to laugh it off as I awkwardly scratched the back of my head. “We kinda do, but sexual desires weren’t exactly anywhere near the top of my priority list. There didn’t seem to be any point in sneaking off to er… do my business when I could’ve just hung around with everyone or pursued a hobby instead. Life’s been too fun and fulfilling for me to be all that concerned about busting a nut.” I frowned as I shoved my hands into my pockets. “Wait, what the hell are you making me say? Goddammit…”
It was a serious answer, but I couldn’t help feel as if I was saying something silly.
“So your desires were fulfilled… through other avenues?” The way she muttered it under her breath made it seem like a rhetorical question, so I stayed silent.
My assumption proved true, as she giggled and leaned into me after she finished mulling it over. I wrapped an arm around her to better bask in her warmth, at which point Lyuu poked her head back out the kitchen, followed by the rest of her.
“There ain’t no way nothin’ happened!” She declared. “You two have always been real clingy, but somethin’s off today! You’re bein’ way too suspicious!” Once again, she raised a finger as would a prosecutor. “Lefi, we’re holdin’ a Wives’ Conference to get to the bottom o‘ this, and I ain’t takin’ no for an answer!”
“I-I suppose, if we must, but not today. Nell does not have the time.”
Lyuu reacted to the mix of shyness and happiness with even more suspicion. She darted over to Nell and made a show of “whispering” to the other girl, her words more than loud enough for us to hear even from across the room.
“You seein’ what I’m seein’, Nell? Lefi’s actin’ way too meek! Somethin’s gotta have happened!”
“…You’re right. We’re going to have to sit her down and have her talk. I really have to get back by tomorrow morning though,” Nell said, “I guess I’ll just have to sacrifice a bit of sleep.” She set her stuff back down and walked right back into the center of the room. “Lefi, you’re going to tell us exactly what happened!”
The two wives that hadn’t shared in last night’s experience each took Lefi by one of her arms and began dragging her off.
“Wait, wait! Stop!” The dragon panicked. “Y-Yuki, do something! Do not merely stand there and observe. You must talk sense into them before they capture me!”
She screeched upon realizing that I had long abandoned her. Unlike Lefi, I knew when it was time to give up and resign myself to whatever fate the lovely ladies I’d wed had decided would be mine.
Editor’s note (Joker): Hey, guys! Joker here. Man, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? We’re doing fine down here in Texas. Cold weather has finally left and we’re back in the mid 70s. Papa Joker’s doing good. He’s back to work, if on restricted duties, and he’s keeping up with his doctor’s appointments. Slowly but surely, he’s getting better. Onto the meat of the matter. As most of you are probably aware, I run a DnD game every other Friday at 12am on our Discord server. We’re currently looking for a couple extra players, so if you think you’d have fun and can play at 12am CST, hit me up on Discord and we can talk about it. See y’all in the next chapter!