「Give me your magic sword.」
Uh, what? Like, actually, what? Is this son of a bitch seriously trying to extort Fran in the middle of town with everyone around us watching?
「Nn? No. Why?」
「Because I’m an A ranked adventurer.」
「Look, you know just how amazing that sword is, right? You should know that giving it to someone like me is basically the same thing as doing the whole world a favour.」
「Yeah, yeah, now stop being so selfish and fork it over.」
The fact that he was ragging on about the world while attempting to blatantly extort us caused Fran to freeze and stare straight at him. Fran probably would’ve already cut the dude in half if he was trying to bullshit us, but we could tell that he actually thought what he said. The dude was so full of himself that he actually thought he was doing a good deed.
「So she’s going to be his next victim? Man, must suck to be her.」
「Then go stop him!」
「Hell no dude, are you insane!? Celldio’s fucked up in the head, but his skills are the real deal. Wait, why’s he in Ulmutt anyway?」
「I’m pretty sure it was because Forrund left him out in the streets half dead when the two met in Barbra.」
「Right, makes sense. But man, I really didn’t expect to have to look at that ugly mug of his after making the journey all the way over.」
「Oh yeah, and don’t forget, the girl he’s trying to mess with right now is the Black Lightning Princess. I’m pretty sure things aren’t gunna go the way they usually do.」
It seemed that what Celldio was doing right now was nothing out of the norm for him. As a result, many of the adventurers in our vicinity began giving Fran looks of pity.
「I’ll pay you as much as you want. I’ll give you so much cash you’ll be able to retire. I’m sure adventuring isn’t the type of business a little girl like you wants to be a part of. And as for me? I’ll be making good use of that sword of yours.」
The swordsman thumped himself on the chest as he spoke, almost as if to say that she could leave all her adventuring to him.
「I’m sure that’s what your sword wants too.」
「You say that, but me? I know. I know how swords feel. I can understand them. That sword doesn’t think it’s something a little girl should be wielding. Come on, why are you hesitating? I’m giving you a chance to stop adventuring, a chance to turn yourself back into just another girl.」
「Already satisfied. Mind own business.」
「Oh man, you sure are ignorant. Let me guess, you just don’t want to give the sword to someone else because you’re feeling sentimental? I mean, I’ll acknowledge that it’s got quite some value to it, but, you’re not thinking. What a sad life you must’ve led not to be able to consider all the benefit that giving your sword to me will bring you. I guess that must mean I’ll need to punish you a bit to make you understand. I know you see a whip right now, but don’t you fret. I’m only going to whip you out of love.」
What bugged me the most about all this was that Celldio had yet to speak a single lie. The Principle of Falsehood had judged everything single last thing he’d said to be what he believed to be the truth.
The lunatic thought that I wanted him to use me, that giving me to him would benefit the world as a whole, and that whipping a young girl for the sake of discipline was an act of love.
I couldn’t help but feel disgusted to the point that I wanted to vomit despite not even having a stomach to begin with. He was a fucking creep. He didn’t really come off as either mad or eccentric. You couldn’t really discern him from any other, less fucked up person from a glance. But still, something about him was just… off. I’d much rather a goblin use me than him. He disgusted me so much that I felt like physiologically repulsed.
『God, he’s grossing me out so much I think I’m getting goosebumps.』
Bloodlust was starting to well up from within Fran each and every single time Celldio opened his mouth. It seemed she’d finally gotten over the initial shock and realized that he wanted to take me from her.
（How to kill?）
『Uhhh, let’s try not to jump the gun just yet.』
Murdering the retard and his group was honestly a simple task. They were far weaker than we were. The only thing that really caused me to stop Fran was the fact that he was a viscount. I really wasn’t feeling like dealing with the aftermath that’d result from making that choice.
I considered retreating, but wrote it off because I felt like it wouldn’t actually bring the incident to an end. Celldio would probably continue to pursue and bother us. As a result, I couldn’t really figure out what to do.
「Now how about handing it over? I can hand you even more money if this isn’t enough, but it should be. It’s an amount that’ll let a commoner like you get by for a few years.」
The amount he’d prepared was 500k Golde.
A mere 500k Golde.
My mind almost blanked. I actually couldn’t understand what he was thinking.
Did he really not understand how much I was worth? The amount he was paying wouldn’t be enough to fetch him any half decent magic sword, let alone me.
His offer was so ridiculous it caused Fran to go silent out of a mix of surprise and anger. Celldio seemed to have interpreted said silence as the fact that she didn’t think his offer was high enough, which in turn prompted him to reply in a sour manner.
「So you don’t think that’s enough…? You do know that obsessing over money turns your life into nothing more than a boring mess, right?」
He was saying something that you’d expect one reasonable adult to tell another, but, was taking advantage of the saying and warping it in a way that made it serve his purposes.
「Okay, how about this then? I’ll make you one of my concubines.」
『What? W-What the fuck did this son of a bitch just say!?』
「I mean, your face could do with a few improvements, but oh well. The honour that comes with such a position should make it worth it, right? I come from a line of marquis, so you’ll be guaranteed a good life, even as just a concubine. That kind of reward makes this whole trade more than just worth it for a beastkin like you, am I right?」
「So, how about it? You’ll get be my concubine, and you’ll basically be given infinite money. Sounds good, right?」
Celldio had no doubt that he was doing Fran a favour. He was, without a doubt, expecting her to thank him because he thought that he’d just given her basically the “best conditions ever.”
So this skirt chasing pedophile wants to not only take me away from Fran, but also turn her into one of his concubines?
Thankfully, Fran herself didn’t understand what the man was proposing, and ultimately ended up staring at him with a blank gaze. She probably would’ve more than just exploded in anger had she actually known what he was talking about.
（Master? Something wrong?）
『I think I just might’ve come up with a pretty good idea.』
『Alright, repeat after me.』
Fran began relaying my words to Celldio.
「Nn. This sword chooses wielder. Can’t be used by unqualified. If unqualified tries to use, will die.」
「Hahaha! No worries there. I’m special, one of the chosen.」
「Will burn scammers, poison thieves, kill villains.」
We’d told him quite a bit, so I was hoping he’d back off. I was willing to call it a day after castrating and almost killing him if he was willing to stop.
「Fmph. Just hand it over already.」
「Yeah, hurry it up.」
「You’re being rude. Our lord is busy, and doesn’t have the time for this.」
The rogue-like guy grinned after Celldio’s two other companions encouraged Fran to hand me over.
「Milord, I think it might be better to just take the sword from her even if you have to do it through force. It seems like she’s unable to see reason.」
The fact that the viscount listened to the rogue’s words and stepped up while acting all stuck up and shit made me feel like he was manipulating the stupid skirt chasing pedophile.
「That’s true. She’ll soon come to thank me even if she doesn’t right away.」
He drew his weapon and begin to emit an aura of bloodlust, as if to demonstrate to Fran what fate would have in store for her should she not hand me over.
I was sure Celldio’s group had watched Fran’s matches, so I didn’t quite understand why they thought they’d be able to pry me from her through the use of force. It seemed that they were either full of themselves or assumed she wouldn’t hurt Celldio because he was a noble.
「Hurry up and hand it over.」
「Of course I’m sure I want it! Now hand me the sword, girl!」
It seemed he wanted to take me from Fran regardless of the fact that we’d warned him he might die.
Well, I guess that means his life is forfeit. I couldn’t really make Fran out to be a liar, and was kinda pissed off to begin with anyways. This was basically the perfect opportunity for me to address both of those two problems at once.
The adventurers standing nearby could act as witnesses to testify that Fran had indeed warned Celldio, and that it was his own fault he died.
『Feel free to hand me to him whenever.』
「Got it. Won’t be responsible for result.」
「That’s fine. You giving me the sword is all that matters.」
And so, Fran handed me to Celldio. Him touching me caused me to feel a wave of disgust wash through my body, but I forced myself to bear with it for the time being.
It seemed that him holding me wasn’t causing the Goddess’ penalty to activate. It probably only would once he actually equipped me. That was good to know, as it meant we could at least allow other people to hold me so long as they didn’t actually try to use me as their weapon, which in turn meant we could have blacksmiths handle me and whatnot.
He would’ve automatically equipped me if he holstered me or tried to use me, but, as of right now, he was just holding me, so the Goddess’ divine retribution wouldn’t actually activate unless he consciously tried equipping me. That was how it worked back when I first met Fran, she wasn’t able to actually become my wielder until she went out of her way to think about it.
I sensed a bit of magical energy flow from Celldio to me. He was attempting to use his Weapon Control skill before actually equipping me.
However, he wasn’t able to get past my Control Nullification skill and ultimately failed. I was planning to steal the skill if I started to feel him taking control of me, but luckily, I didn’t actually have to.
All the magical energy he poured into me ended up dispersing.
「Huh? Why isn’t it…」
Celldio understood that he hadn’t managed to take control of me, but he didn’t manage to arrive at the conclusion that his skill had flat out failed, and so, he tried a bit harder to get the skill to work. I was perfectly fine with him not actually ending up equipping me. I kinda wanted to see him get smited, but I’d also kinda been wanting to be the one to do it anyways.
The first thing I did was cast Elemental Blade, specifically with the flame element. Naturally, I’d made use of the Sorcery skill in order to pump as much magical energy in as I possibly could.
「Woah! This thing’s starting to burn up.」
Heh, serves you right you son of a bitch! Guess who shouldn’t have assumed his Weapon Control skill would actually work?
Celldio’s face twisted into a frown as a result of the sudden influx of heat.
「W-What!? Why won’t this sword obey me? I’m supposed to be one of the chosen!?」
MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA! 
The fact that he thought he was special was making me laugh. His mental age was something to be scoffed at.
「W-What the fuck!? I can’t let go!」
I held Celldio’s hands down with Telekinesis in order to prevent him from escaping my wrath. I concentrated all the force I would’ve used to catapult myself on his arms in order to hold them in position, so there was no way he was going to escape even after considering that he was an A ranked adventurer.
He couldn’t let go of me even though his skin was starting to burn off. I started to harass him all the more as he began panicking. Namely, I changed the shape of my guard and hilt and stabbed both into his hand while also using the Magic Poison Fang skill.
His face turned a deep shade of blue as the poison began circulating through his veins. Appraising him allowed me to confirm that his state has changed to “badly poisoned.” Poison hadn’t actually worked on any of the people we’d been fighting lately, so I was glad it finally found a chance to shine.
「M-My Connosieur skill didn’t tell me about any of this!」
Connisuer was like appraisal, but it only worked on items.
That explained why he was willing to take the bet. He’d seen the fake stat page I had, and come to the conclusion that I didn’t actually have the features Fran had described.
The mage cast both Heal and Antidote on Celldio.
「Guaaaahh!? Anna, hurry up and fix me!」
「My magic isn’t working…! Karam, potions!」
Karam, the rogue, tried using several healing potions to restore Celldio, but his actions were futile. I was still giving off heat and continuing to poison him. All the damage he healed off would immediately be reapplied.
The mix of flame and poison forced Celldio to recall the words Fran had spoke to him earlier.
「Get away! Arggg! why can’t I let go of this sword!? Why!?」
Namely, Celldio remembered the word death. A wave of panic washed over him and dyed his screams in fear.
But it didn’t matter. This was what he got for trying to make Fran his concubine.
The viscount had thought his own actions to be just, but, truth be told, he’d been doing nothing but extorting people and robbing them. He was a criminal that committed the acts time and time again. There was a good chance he’d also made use of his family’s influence in order to abduct otherwise unwilling women.
I knew that he might also be a victim, one deceived by his companions. He was an elixir addict, meaning someone might’ve made him lose his mind from overdosing on drugs, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care what reasons he had, nor whether or not he himself had suffered.
I had no intentions of forgiving him regardless.
 Each instance of “muda” means “what you’re doing is futile.” Jojo Reference. See: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_KwV-MAMQ8